I'm not being mean but my grandparents won't live forever; that's why I take time out of my schedule to see them. However, the cousins of my generation don't see things in my light. They see it as a hindrance.
I am quite critical of them. I am sad that they don't appreciate having the older generation around.
Yet, am I being too critical?
I am the oldest of my generation, and in Chinese families that is a big deal. Perhaps going to see them is my responsibility. Perhaps subconsciously I feel the need to be the authoritarian in this situation.
Is it because I am an only child and all my cousins have at least one brother and/or sister?
I will probably never know, but I know that I won't regret anything when my grandparents hit the bucket.